Friday, March 09, 2007

Heartbroken

Hey everyone. We need prayer over here for my family. I just found out this morning that my great grandma passed away on Wednesday. We all knew it was coming, but I didn't think it would be this soon. Caleb and I were busy all day today and when we got home and had dinner I started reading the Bible. Then it hit me. And the tears came. I started thinking of how I found out that her health was failing about a month ago. And it kills me that I didn't do anything to let her know that I loved her. I should have called her or wrote her a letter. She and my grandparents are all the way out in Oregon. I haven't seen her in 7 years. I can't even go to her funeral to honor her memory. I remember how we used to talk about how one day she would live to see my children. And now she's gone. It also hurts to know that my dad and grandpa are hurting. I always admired my great grandma Irene. She was really outgoing and always laughed. She talked about dreams and goals with me and I remember seeing her read the Bible even though her eyes weren't that good. She was full of life and was such a good person. She loved Jesus and had a passion for her kids, and grandkids, and great grandkids! Her husband died 14 years ago at the age of 86. I remember seeing her caress his face and kiss him before they put him in the ground. Tears were running down her cheeks. She had a love for her family that inspired me. She basically died of old age. There was nothing really wrong with her. We found out that she stared sleeping for hours and hours every day and her body was telling her that it was almost time before she would leave this earth to be with her Heavenly Father. I know that she is happy now and is reunited with her loved ones (including her mom who died at the age of 104!). I just wish I would have found a way to let her know how wonderful she was and that I loved her one more time before she left.
Dear grams,
I know you're with Jesus now where you know no pain or sadness. I'm sorry I couldn't have been there with you while God was preparing us for your passing. I just want you to know that you were an amazing person and I loved and admired you so much. I miss you but I know that one day we'll see each other again.
Love,
Crystal

5 comments:

Chel said...

Crystal,
Loss is so hard for us. Your "Grams" sounds like a wonderful Godly woman!
(I see you picking up a torch and carrying on where she left off).
What a blessing to know that she is with Him and that you will see her once again!

Bek said...

Crystal, i am sorry; i know how loss feels. what a wonderful letter/tribute you wrote to her her. i rejoice with you that she is with Jesus, and that she died of natural causes. (this must be the best way to pass peacefully from one life into the next). we can only imagine how wonderful her life is now!

Meggles said...

So sorry to hear about your loss. Its hard to get through but you can do it with God's help. Just praying when I lost my grandma in Oct 05 helped a lot. Knowing that you can always talk to him and he'd listen would help me fall asleep.
Praying for you at this time....

Margo said...

Oh, Crystal, I lost my Grandfather recently and the pain is still very fresh. My prayers are indeed with you and your family.

Kimber said...

Crystal - I am very sorry for your loss! May the Lord hold you close - and warm your heart with the good memories and times where you did share your love with her!

Thinking of ya!